Chronicles of a Woodland Creature (Introduction)

The Woodland Creature bears a striking resemblance to Faun in Pan's Labrynth

My Manager - The Beginning

She has a striking resemblance to a Woodland Creature, is a moderately intelligent, but uninspired, technically weak, and unusually lazy employee.  Her principle area of experience is on the less sophisticated side of the business.  She languishes at a satellite office, unnoticed, but the market is good and eventually she leaves for more money. But the demands of the new job are high, and before long, she is interviewing for her old job back.  But this time, again from the satellite office, she is rehired on the more sophisticated side of the business.
 
The Woodland Creature’s manager is actually a rather smart, but insecure man we’ll call Rocky.  Despite his JD, LLM and MBA, he cannot shake his thick Brooklyn accent, and despite his intellect, he sounds like an idiot.  He overcompensates in his use of vocabulary words, but it sounds unnatural and contrived, because it is.  Rocky is good-hearted and the type of man who feels he can rescue people from themselves.  He is in an unhappy marriage.

Meanwhile, the Woodland Creature is struggling with the complexity of her work. She is lazy, but putting off tough issues has them spiraling out of control.  These are multimillion dollar matters she is now fumbling!  Desperate and concerned for her job, she reluctantly asks Rocky to meet with her.  He agrees, and travels to the satellite office for a face-to face meeting.  It is during this encounter that the Woodland Creature notices Rocky’s weakness for damsels in distress.  She is smart enough to have picked up a few terms of art, and uses these terms just enough to deceive Rocky into thinking she is trying hard to learn the business.  She flirts, but not too much, pouts a lot, and places her hand on his shoulder to laugh when he makes a snarky remark.  She’s not attractive, but she’s slim and can dress-up okay, he convinces himself.  He’s fallen for it.  It's a tool she's used many times before, and many times since...

He takes many trips to the remote office.  The Woodland creature is handling some large high-profile accounts.  She’s smart, he keeps reminding himself, as he takes the file from her and develops a plan of action for her to follow.  She thanks him with her Woodland eyes and flashes her Woodland smile, and before long they are grooving in a cave with a pick, Woodland style.

“I gotta get her to the main office,” thinks Rocky.  But how?