The Real House Elves of New York

The elf is watching...

Although it is not yet Thanksgiving, Santa has already appeared at a local mall.  Christmas decorations are already up at the South Street Sea Port.  And Luca the Elf on the Shelf appeared atop the television at the Nathan household.  

My son spotted him one morning, as he sat on the couch giggling at the creature perched way up the fireplace mantle.  As a child, I never did have an elf visit me, so I was unsure of the protocol.  Should I attempt to kill the elf, or would welcoming it into my home serve us all better?  Fortunately, we found a note, together with a story book nearby.  The story book was quite enlightening.  Unfortunately, it vanished almost immediately after we read it, not unlike the tapes in Mission Impossible.

This elf was apparently sent to us by Santa Claus, as an ambassador from the North Pole.  He is also a spy, reporting back each night on whether the boys have been naughty or nice.  Apparently, while we are all asleep in our beds, the elf flies back to the North Pole and reports to the Big Man himself.  He then flies back each morning and positions himself somewhere within the house, occasionally causing mischief in the process.  I must confess, it’s a bit unsettling at times, as we never know
where he’ll turn up.

It’s also rather unnerving having this bizarre looking stranger with mystical powers watching our every move.  Even when he is not directly in the room, he presumably knows what we are up to, and whether we’ve been bad or good.  But apart from whether the children are behaving, what else does he know, really?  Can he see my wife in the shower?  Or can he tell what goes on beneath the sheets of our marital bed?  It’s freaky at times, especially since he never says anything and is always sporting a cheeky grin. 

I am somewhat comforted, however, by the knowledge (gleaned from the vanished story book) that if we touch the elf, his magic will disappear, rendering him impotent to report back to St. Nick.  Despite being rather tempted to test this principal, I am loathe to do so, lest Santa decide to skip our house this Christmas.

Whether we’ll get used to our diminutive visitor remains to be seen.  But one thing is for certain, while he may be watching us, I’m keeping my eyes on him as well.

-Nathan